The Coronalogues
The Coronalogues

Season 2, Episode 3 · 5 months ago

Dear Mr Judge Rinder


A young girl writes to the TV judge for sentencing. 

1 City, 1 Year On, 5 More Stories.

A restauranteur contemplates losing her career, a conspiracy theorist uncovers a strange plot, a young girl writes to a TV judge, a woman attempts a daring escape from a marriage and the City of Edinburgh finally addresses her own.

A second series of interconnected tales from a time like no other…

For The Coronalogues

“…a warm heated portrait of ordinary humanity…” The Scotsman.

“McAllister depicts contemporary urban life with flair and a witty sense of humour steeped in realism” The UpComing

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The coronalogus, the second wave,chapter three. Dear Mr Judge Render, dear Mr Judge Render, I hopeyou are very well and nobody you know...

...has caught the pandemic. My nameis Livy and I am writing to you because it says at the start ofyour program that you are a real judge and not someone who is acting asa judge for the cameras. I was going to write to God, butmy mum says I don't need to decide if I believe in him yet,and also there is lots of different for a God's to choose from. Itried asking God stuff before, but he never got back to me. PlusI don't know his email address. I copied your email address from the telly. I wanted to ask you a question because I don't know any other properjudges. There is nothing wrong with your program it is very good. Mymom started watching it when she got made to stop working. She'd never seenit before, but she said it's her... favorite, because you're very sarcasticand aren't afraid to call an idiot and idiot if you see one. Ithink sarcastic means you are very proud of your own jokes. I tried towatch it with her one day. It was about a lady who let herdog off the lead and it got run over, and she thought it wasthe man's fault and haunted him to pay her money as punishment. You judgedthat it wasn't the man's fault and I thought you were right. The mandidn't want to run over the dog and he was sad he did. Hewas just going to the shops. Anyway. I thought you were good at judging. I don't have a lot of... if you make me pay anything, but I am a good savor. I still have money left over thataunt Claire gave me for Christmas. I was going to wait until my birthdayin three and a half month and then by a poppy, but if Ihave to give it to you instead, that's okay. I Trust your judging. Also, before you ask, I'm allowed not to be in school.Just in case you thought I was bunking, I'm not. School is closed becauseof the pandemic. You can only go to school if your mom orDad's a nurse, a doctor, a...

...policeman, a fireman or works inSaint Bris. At first I was very happy about not going to school,but I miss it a wee bit now. I miss my teacher, Miss Monroe. She is very strict but fair, and she likes it when I rightstories. She said I had very good imagination, which is also whatmy mom tells me when I try and explain to her why I can't domy chores right then when she wants me to. I know that everyone hasto do things they don't like sometimes, especially at the moment. That's whatI wanted to talk to you about, Mr Judge Render. Miss Monroe askedour class to write about what we will remember the most about the pandemic andhow we feel about it. I had written mind, but I didn't getpicked to read it out this week,...

...but I will have to read itnext week, and now I'm a little bit worried. Mine is very differentfrom my friend stories. My friends stories were all very sad. My friendMillie's Papa died and I was crying because she was crying. I would beso upset if anything happened to my papa. I can't wait until I see himagain, which mum says will be soon because Nicolas giving him an injection. Dad Says he likes Nicola now and he wants her to be in charge, not Boris, because Boris wrote poem about how much he doesn't like ScottTi people. I don't think it was a very good poem because I sawhim on telly and he wasn't very good at speaking. He just kept sayingand all the time and getting his words...

...mixed up. I think politics arearguments, but nobody gets to be the winner. I told Papa not toworry about his injection and it isn't that sort, which was a little bitof a white lie. I had to get an injection because a horrible boynamed Jordan pushed me off the seesaw and made me get stitches in my arm. I had to go to the hospital and it was actually really, reallysort, but I told Papa it wasn't sort so that he wouldn't get scaredand not go. We drew a big...

...rainbow together for the nurses, meand mummy and Cora, but mostly me and mummy, because Cora can't paintvery well because she's just six. She would only use the yellow paint andshe kept going over the lightness. So now the red bit has some yellowin it. Daddy said he'd seen lots of Rainbow Posters, but ours wasdefinitely the best exclamation. The thing is,...

Mr Judge Render, I am verysad about all the poor people who died in the pandemic and I don'tlike to think about it for too long because it makes me frightened and upsetand I have to make myself think about something else or I start crying andthen mom gets upset because I'm upset. You See, I didn't write aboutthe nurses or captain Tom or about anyone else. Deyn, I think Imaybe should have written about those things, because that's what all the other peoplemy classic but I wrote about the thing that I'll remember the most, andthat is my mum and dad and how before the pandemic they were very busypeople. We have done loads of fun stuff together, like playing hungry hippelsand Karaoke. We've seen it up frozen... and two cocoa and a brandnew one that's called Soul, which made my dad cry, a go cry, not up sad cry. He said he wasn't crying and he just hadsomething in his eye, but then he winked at me, so I knewhe was crying. It was happy crying, though, so that's okay. Onereally good day, mummy and daddy took me and Coura for a walkup Arthur seat, which is a hill, not a cheer. There was alot at the top with otters in it and I took a picture onMon's phone and then dad saw a man with glasses on fall down a hilland get covered in mud and he laughed until he cried, like good cryingagain, not sad cry, which made... laugh and Cora, but Idon't think Cora got the joke. She just wanted to join in. Butthe best time was when mum did dancing videos with me. We've done loadsnow. My favorite is the dance monkey one because at the end dad joinsin and pretends to be a monkey and looked really silly and mom laugh andthen kissed him really hard, which was gross but also nice. Anyway.That's what I wrote about because that's what I think I will remember the mostabout the pandemic. But now I feel I might be really selfish and nota very nice person, but that is what I will remember and that's whatMr Monroe asked us to write about.

What we will remember. So,Mr Judge Render, now you have all the evidence, could you please judgeme on whether I need to pay money as punishment? I could write mystory again so it's more like the rest of my class, but that wouldmake it lie and I definitely know that lying is back. Thank you forreading this and being a good judge. I hope you get your injection soon. Love Livy X XX. Dear Mr Judge, render was performed by YulanaMcDonald Scott. It was written by Ker mcallister. The music was composed byDave B Mac. Special thanks go to...

Seaana McDonald, Christa McDonald Scott,Edinburgh Youth Theater, Katie and Karen Cordon and all it gilded balloon, thecoronalogus. The second wave is a watch this space production in partnership with GildedBalloon. This has been a difficult time for the arts. None of thecontributors have received any payment. If you have enjoyed this episode and would liketo donate, then details can be found in the audio description. Alternatively,you can donate by visiting watch this space productionscom or gilded balloon DOT CO DOTUK. All donations will be split equally amongst the contributors,.

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