The Coronalogues
The Coronalogues

Season 2, Episode 3 · 9 months ago

Dear Mr Judge Rinder


A young girl writes to the TV judge for sentencing. 

1 City, 1 Year On, 5 More Stories.

A restauranteur contemplates losing her career, a conspiracy theorist uncovers a strange plot, a young girl writes to a TV judge, a woman attempts a daring escape from a marriage and the City of Edinburgh finally addresses her own.

A second series of interconnected tales from a time like no other…

For The Coronalogues

“…a warm heated portrait of ordinary humanity…” The Scotsman.

“McAllister depicts contemporary urban life with flair and a witty sense of humour steeped in realism” The UpComing

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The coronalogus, the second wave, chapter three. Dear Mr Judge Render, dear Mr Judge Render, I hope you are very well and nobody you know...

...has caught the pandemic. My name is Livy and I am writing to you because it says at the start of your program that you are a real judge and not someone who is acting as a judge for the cameras. I was going to write to God, but my mum says I don't need to decide if I believe in him yet, and also there is lots of different for a God's to choose from. I tried asking God stuff before, but he never got back to me. Plus I don't know his email address. I copied your email address from the telly. I wanted to ask you a question because I don't know any other proper judges. There is nothing wrong with your program it is very good. My mom started watching it when she got made to stop working. She'd never seen it before, but she said it's her... favorite, because you're very sarcastic and aren't afraid to call an idiot and idiot if you see one. I think sarcastic means you are very proud of your own jokes. I tried to watch it with her one day. It was about a lady who let her dog off the lead and it got run over, and she thought it was the man's fault and haunted him to pay her money as punishment. You judged that it wasn't the man's fault and I thought you were right. The man didn't want to run over the dog and he was sad he did. He was just going to the shops. Anyway. I thought you were good at judging. I don't have a lot of... if you make me pay anything, but I am a good savor. I still have money left over that aunt Claire gave me for Christmas. I was going to wait until my birthday in three and a half month and then by a poppy, but if I have to give it to you instead, that's okay. I Trust your judging. Also, before you ask, I'm allowed not to be in school. Just in case you thought I was bunking, I'm not. School is closed because of the pandemic. You can only go to school if your mom or Dad's a nurse, a doctor, a...

...policeman, a fireman or works in Saint Bris. At first I was very happy about not going to school, but I miss it a wee bit now. I miss my teacher, Miss Monroe. She is very strict but fair, and she likes it when I right stories. She said I had very good imagination, which is also what my mom tells me when I try and explain to her why I can't do my chores right then when she wants me to. I know that everyone has to do things they don't like sometimes, especially at the moment. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Mr Judge Render. Miss Monroe asked our class to write about what we will remember the most about the pandemic and how we feel about it. I had written mind, but I didn't get picked to read it out this week,...

...but I will have to read it next week, and now I'm a little bit worried. Mine is very different from my friend stories. My friends stories were all very sad. My friend Millie's Papa died and I was crying because she was crying. I would be so upset if anything happened to my papa. I can't wait until I see him again, which mum says will be soon because Nicolas giving him an injection. Dad Says he likes Nicola now and he wants her to be in charge, not Boris, because Boris wrote poem about how much he doesn't like Scott Ti people. I don't think it was a very good poem because I saw him on telly and he wasn't very good at speaking. He just kept saying and all the time and getting his words...

...mixed up. I think politics are arguments, but nobody gets to be the winner. I told Papa not to worry about his injection and it isn't that sort, which was a little bit of a white lie. I had to get an injection because a horrible boy named Jordan pushed me off the seesaw and made me get stitches in my arm. I had to go to the hospital and it was actually really, really sort, but I told Papa it wasn't sort so that he wouldn't get scared and not go. We drew a big...

...rainbow together for the nurses, me and mummy and Cora, but mostly me and mummy, because Cora can't paint very well because she's just six. She would only use the yellow paint and she kept going over the lightness. So now the red bit has some yellow in it. Daddy said he'd seen lots of Rainbow Posters, but ours was definitely the best exclamation. The thing is,...

Mr Judge Render, I am very sad about all the poor people who died in the pandemic and I don't like to think about it for too long because it makes me frightened and upset and I have to make myself think about something else or I start crying and then mom gets upset because I'm upset. You See, I didn't write about the nurses or captain Tom or about anyone else. Deyn, I think I maybe should have written about those things, because that's what all the other people my classic but I wrote about the thing that I'll remember the most, and that is my mum and dad and how before the pandemic they were very busy people. We have done loads of fun stuff together, like playing hungry hippels and Karaoke. We've seen it up frozen... and two cocoa and a brand new one that's called Soul, which made my dad cry, a go cry, not up sad cry. He said he wasn't crying and he just had something in his eye, but then he winked at me, so I knew he was crying. It was happy crying, though, so that's okay. One really good day, mummy and daddy took me and Coura for a walk up Arthur seat, which is a hill, not a cheer. There was a lot at the top with otters in it and I took a picture on Mon's phone and then dad saw a man with glasses on fall down a hill and get covered in mud and he laughed until he cried, like good crying again, not sad cry, which made... laugh and Cora, but I don't think Cora got the joke. She just wanted to join in. But the best time was when mum did dancing videos with me. We've done loads now. My favorite is the dance monkey one because at the end dad joins in and pretends to be a monkey and looked really silly and mom laugh and then kissed him really hard, which was gross but also nice. Anyway. That's what I wrote about because that's what I think I will remember the most about the pandemic. But now I feel I might be really selfish and not a very nice person, but that is what I will remember and that's what Mr Monroe asked us to write about.

What we will remember. So, Mr Judge Render, now you have all the evidence, could you please judge me on whether I need to pay money as punishment? I could write my story again so it's more like the rest of my class, but that would make it lie and I definitely know that lying is back. Thank you for reading this and being a good judge. I hope you get your injection soon. Love Livy X XX. Dear Mr Judge, render was performed by Yulana McDonald Scott. It was written by Ker mcallister. The music was composed by Dave B Mac. Special thanks go to...

Seaana McDonald, Christa McDonald Scott, Edinburgh Youth Theater, Katie and Karen Cordon and all it gilded balloon, the coronalogus. The second wave is a watch this space production in partnership with Gilded Balloon. This has been a difficult time for the arts. None of the contributors have received any payment. If you have enjoyed this episode and would like to donate, then details can be found in the audio description. Alternatively, you can donate by visiting watch this space productionscom or gilded balloon DOT CO DOT UK. All donations will be split equally amongst the contributors,.

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