Sounder SIGN UP FOR FREE
The Coronalogues
The Coronalogues

Season 2, Episode 1 · 3 months ago

Abandoning The Lifeboat

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

A restauranteur contemplates the future for her beloved career and business. 

1 City, 1 Year On, 5 More Stories.

A restauranteur contemplates losing her career, a conspiracy theorist uncovers a strange plot, a young girl writes to a TV judge, a woman attempts a daring escape from a marriage and the City of Edinburgh finally addresses her own.

A second series of interconnected tales from a time like no other…

For The Coronalogues

“…a warm heated portrait of ordinary humanity…” The Scotsman.

“McAllister depicts contemporary urban life with flair and a witty sense of humour steeped in realism” The UpComing

If you have enjoyed these recordings we ask you to please consider making a donation. Donations can be made via our PayPal link https://bit.ly/DonateWTS or by visiting watchthisspaceproductions.com or gildedballoon.co.uk All donations will be distributed evenly between contributors.

The Corona looks the second wavechapter, one abandoning the life. I just can't believe the shit ishappening I mean. Can anyone did no one see thiscoming I mean why wasn't it made clear to us that this was a possibilitybecause it's obviously more than a possibility? Are you telling me no one,not one person in the whole scientific community, not one person in the wholefucking world had the remotest idea that this could happen. The one day out of the blue, the lifeyou had been living. The life you planned for had fought to get risk.Everything for would just suddenly be made to stop andhere's the kicker. You can't hug anyone and you have to wear a mask boom. Imean it's insane right, surreal. It's unreal, you save to think about it,just so...

...overwhelming so you're trying us tothink about it right, but is there literally in your face all the time anddeep down everyone thinking the exact same thing, the same question you can hear it it's that home in theair it's on the tip of every tongue. Will anything ever be the same againI've been putting today off? I should have done this last week. I made itharder by allowing myself to think that things might change that my son miracle.We will be allowed to open back up again, but I mean I knew deep down. Iknew they weren't going to lift the restrictions. There was no way even ifthey had oh, you can serve a meal, but without alcohol and only till six PMbrilliant tears. For that the lifeboat is a restaurant. We don't open till sixP m. We make most of our profit out of wine. It's like telling a car a pairshop. They now need to exclusively work on fixing skateboards at night. Using tools made only of bread at thewhole thing is nut flit. Now I've got to go back in. I do not want to have to go in and notlike this, but there's paperwork I need to get so we can try, try to stay afloat, so I have to go in. Maybe for the last time, probably forthe last time. Please don't make it the last time. I don't know who I'm saying that to notGod. Obviously, if he is there, then the only one directly responsible forthis shit show is him so fuck him and I'm not saying it to anyone. I'm justsaying it. But I'll say it again. Please don't make it the last time, and I know I get it it's awful foreveryone. I do get it. I do understand. This pandemic isn't just happening tome like I'm, not a complete Lawrence Fox, but sometimes it feels like it'shappening to me more. I'm not proud of that. I know it's nottrue. I know it pisses people off...

...saying that. I'm aware it's not my bestlook, but I'm just paying honest. I have felt like that Paliarino. Maybe we all have maybe that's. Okay. What I wasn't prepared for was thecomplete lack of sympathy. My Life, my whole livelihood, my wholeidentity, the career, I've slaved for the hot hours and furious kitchens.Laser fucking focus never drop in gear, always driving with relentlessdedication towards this one thing this one goal I have set my heart on and I get there with blood, sweat and tears and yearsof my life and sacrifice upon sacrifice to the point that it has for everdamaged me as a normal human being by finally get there. I can scarcely believe it and it'severything I thought it was going to be, and just as I'm beginning to feel like it was all maybe worth it just asI'm beginning to finally enjoy my life through no fault of my own and withoutwarning. It's all taken away from me all admit it. Since this began, I'vebeen free, full losing my God damn mind. My friends could see that it was prettyobvious. They could not not know what'shappening and some were concerned, and then some of them not all butenough, some of whom I would once have called good friends of mine reactedlike I was being over dramatic, like I've had to give up a fucking hobbylike I was having to give up roller blading because of my knees. Oh, that's such a shame. I guess you'regoing to have to get an actual job now,...

...which translates from Scottish. As Ialways resented the fact you were able to make a living twaddn about with foodand I'm secretly thrilled that your silly creativity has been suitablyquashed. You've been brought down a peg or two and will now be forced to livein the same on Dane shitty world that sucked the goodness out of me. You know what my friends actually saidto me when she heard that I might have to close for good. Oh, I could see what they have going atstandard life. I mean what the actual fuck standard fucking life. Do. I look toyou like I'm being the kind of person who wants to be in any way associatedwith standard life. Can you believe she said that? Do I at all sounds to you like the kindof person who is going to spend one second of their limited life span,working for something called Standard Life. I don't even know what the fuckstandard life does harvesting the dreams of children is my best guess,but I would rather make a living cooking street food for stray dogs outof dead squirrels. I've scraped off the roadside then get involved in whateversinister shit standard life gets up to this by the way was the exact samewoman who was so thrilled for me when the life boat got its list, good foodaward, the same woman who always dropped my name when phoning up for abooking or paying the bill constantly sniffing around for discounts andspecial treatment, which I always make sure she got. I was good to hold myfriends. I wanted them to love my restaurant forcrying out loud. What was I showing off? Of course, it was why? Wouldn't I, and they did love it- they certainlykept coming back. So did everyone else number one on trip advisor for seafood,restaurants at edinbrugh number fucking one and an award actual professionalrecognition for my own establishment bookings till Christmas. This was thedream coming true and all this in less than two years,everyone loved everyone know as much as me.

I do that I'm still sitting in the car park. I'vebeen sat here for at least twenty minutes. Now I can't face looking hather the way she is what, if it's the last time, I don't want to see her coldand empty and desolate. That's not how I want to remember her. I'm really am I really going to have to rememberher. There is hope right, the vaccine andeverything we will be back in. I don't know by the summer I mean that's whatthey're saying right: the life boat will sail again. Won't she this too shall pass and all that I'll just go in quick I'll get thestuff from the safe I need for HRC and get out don't even have to pause, I'm at the back kitchen door. I can'tremember which key is, which I try verky three times on the fourth run.Thor is I'm starting to panic that someone has broken in and change thelocks, one of them spontaneously decides to work and his shoulder pushthe door and open the fucking alarm starts to bee. I completely forgot. We had an alarm.Also the code turn off more last year. It was muscle memory. Ididn't even have to look at the number PAT. I could have done it blind drunkfrequently. Did it blind? Ok now we men as well be picking the numbers oncountdown. I don't know the right answer, shot like ninety seconds orsomething in the security firm contact of belisa'ma have to phone. Someone whoknows the number and guess angus knows that i guess we had to let go last weekanchas, we started crying half way through his doom paul, where i washaving to fire him angashore with me, since a very star what promise i'dphone as soon as i could offer and work again that ancaios is it hi, angas hi?Yes, emma lookno, that's not why i'm, i...

...guess angus it's an emergency. Listen,i need the number for the alarm. I've forgotten it at the restaurant. What'sthe code just tell me the code and go. I have ten seconds such o nine one one! Thank you angus! No, i'm surprised! Iforgot it to know you're right. That is the date we opened. I don't know i would have have forgottenit either. I'm very surprised, myself, look anges, i'm hoping we can get youback, but thanks for that. No no. I appreciate that now i willdefinitely be in touch and yes, no. I've already put the word out, but youknow how is everyone's in the same boat? Yes, thelife boat. No, that is funny no you're. The first person to say that so soon as we have a date for reopeningnow, i know okay, thanks tanges yeah i've actually got to go cheers now.Thanks again, sorry, i think, i'm i think, i'm losing you so much for my ninja entrance and exit. I closed the door. I stand in my kitchen, it's not justthe silence that gets me, but the absence of any type of smell other thanthe lemony sour waft of cleaning products and everything is so still. Kitchens. Never stole should never bestill. Everything is supposed to move. Everything should dance. A good kitchenis a constant flow of kinnectikut. The construction of exquisite cuisineis a tango. It's a tightly choreographicballet of time and flavor and texture and taste. It is a physical act as much as it is acorner in one is never stole.

I walk into the dining area. I like a lion to me. I'm hit by just acute wave of my alcalis flashette is not that empty. She covered tables isee but tables set for the ghosts of customers, a montage of memorable meals that wasserved at each one table one. This couple who i don'tthink had ever eaten out much before and this type of restaurant i mean theywere just so adorably pleased to be here i mean, usually i'm quite easilynauseated by too much wholesome content, but this was so pure. It was just so obviously, this massivetreat for them their expectation, bubbling away inside them their delightat doing this together, they were just so compelled to enjoy everything how he lapped up. The experience withsuch startled delight savoring the food and experience with such self consciousrelish. I couldn't help smiling watching themand- and i looked around at the restaurantand all the staff were doing the same. Not only did i send them over cocktails,i wipe their bill. I never do that. I've had full on proposals happeninghere and the most i get is a glass of our cheapest per seco and a halfhearted round of applause. I swear to god. You would have thought i haddelivered this couple's baby. They both started crying, i mean snot andeverything saying this was the best night of their lives. They tip thestaff almost as much as their meal cost. I mean they were adorable, but theywere idiots. Go i'm not about that pair. So much, it always makes me smile table too. Not so much similar set up.Actually this woman dressed up to the...

...nines, i mean she's gone to some effort,this poor girl. She arrives early nervous. You can see that says it's heranniversary tenth. I think she says i can't remember anyway she's sitting onour own for half an hour. He finally turns up with a husband in a track suit, the guys in a fuckingtrack suit, and i'm not talking like snazzy designer tracts it here. I'mtalking track suit. That should only be used for hangovers and di y in theprivacy of your own home track suit. Anyway, he sits down. She pulls out a present beautifullywrapped. He takes one look at it and says: what's this for, like he resents her buying him apresent like. That was a bad thing to do. I mean you see what this is right.Every woman knows what kind of relationship this is so already. Mystaff are having to physically restrain me from bottling, this frick, but theirstarters gone out, and i specifically tell clara who's serving them to ask ifeverything is okay and to make direct eye contact with thet woman as she doesso and she does and the woman just looks away, but i see him noticing this,he clocks it maybe the tone in which clara asked but suddenly he's on itlike a long goose on a life insurance deal. His senses are pricked prick and his beady eyes, dart aroundthe room and land directly on me and i'm watching him and we lock stairs andi'm not looking away. Why should i so there we are staring at each other,while this poor woman is trying to comment on how lovely it all looks, andthis guy he picks up his fork. He takes one large bite of the starter. Chooseit comically, like he's in a cartoon like screws his face up and spits itback on to the plate, not once breaking his stair with me and then he stands up.He puts his fucking hoodie on which he'd thrown over the back of the chair,and then he walks out and this woman she's sitting theretears streaming down her face apologizing to the other tables formaking a scene someone on table for tutted at her, sothe sweets they wanted were suddenly...

...all sold out. I couldn't handle itwatching her. Try finish her starter out of embarrassment, so i went over and sat with her. Ipoured her a wine and i sat and ate his meal with her. I didn't say anythingabout what happened didn't need to. I just couldn't handle her sitting aloneor having to shuffle out the door back to that. So i fed her and i got herdrunk at least i could do sister had right. She's a right laughactually had a really dry sense of humor. I said i suppose you got todon't you outen wonder how she's getting on. I just want to know she's gotten rid ofthat as well. You know, could you imagine being on lockdown with that? Imean you'd, kill him in his sleep. You'd have to table three there's two judges from thelist who i spent the whole time trying to lip breed from the kitchen at table. Four is sat this father andson early twenties. I would say the son, not the father and the whole thingbegan really tense, and then it became obvious that the sun was coming out tohis dad and he must have been expecting his dad tobe upset about it, but the dad stood up and gave his son this massive hug andkissed him and half the restaurant was in tears and, oh, my god i can't be inhere- i mean every table. Every single table is a reminder of what i mightlose i have to get out of here. I go to the office open. The safe pick updocuments underneath is a photo a photo. I forgot i had to put in there it's thesame photo that also hangs framed behind the bar. I was taken on thenight of december two thousand and eighteen and it's the day we opened as all the staff in it, most of whomwere still with me, were still with me, were stood outside the front of therestaurant and i'm holding a bottle of champagne in mid explosion. I'mstanding to the right of the picture...

...facing the staff, the photo capturesthe spray and middle a second before it hits their faces, which are contortedinto over animated expressions of shock and joy and fun. Looking at them alwaysmakes me laugh, but it's my own face that captivates me. I ast don'trecognize it not just my face, but the way i'mholding myself and more specifically, the exactfeeling i had in that photo was taken. Despite the fact that i was taking thegreatest gamble of my life. Opening this place, i look the most free i've ever looked. I put the photo back. I walked the safe,i lock the office. I walked through the dining area, withmy eyes, firmly fixed to the floor, to avoid seeing any more fucking ghosts. Igo into the kitchen, i reset the alarm. I go out the door and i cycle throughthe set of keys only twice this time and i find the right one. I go to mycar. I put the papers on the back seat and then i get in and turn on theignition. I don't move. I turn off the ignition get out of thecar first key. I pick opens the door to the kitchen this time. I turn off thealarm. Without even looking at the key pad, i go back into the office open thesafe, take out the photo i'm taking this home. This comes home with me, i'mwalking through the dining area, and i swear to you. I was going to go home. Istopped, though, what if this is the last time i'm notleaving her like this. I walk over to the bar and unlock the fridge thatcontains a two thousand four bottle of clo de guise philipone three hundredand fifty quit a bottle at the last one left, the best champagne we have andthe best i've ever tasted and i take it and i go and see a table one i'll drink with the ghost i'm not readyto abandon the life boat. Just yet, just like any good captain, i'mprepared to go down with my shipyou...

...better. Believe me. When i say i'll godown swinging. Abandoning the life boat was performed by crystal evans. It waswritten by ker, mc callisto. The music was composed by dave, be mark specialthanks cor to shana, mc donald, crista, mcdonald, scott edinburgh, theatre,katy and canon cordon and all at gilderoy, the coronal ogus. The secondwave is a watchless space production in partnership with gilded balloon. We all know this has been a difficulttime for the arts. None of the contributors have received bement. Ifyou have enjoyed this episode and would later denat, then details can be foundin the audio description. Alternatively, you can denide visiting watch thisspace productions, com or gilded blin do do yuki older nations will be splitevenly amongst the contributors.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (10)