The Coronalogues
The Coronalogues

Season 1, Episode 2 · 1 year ago

Chapter 2: Jigsaw Puzzle


Jigsaw Puzzle

A young woman tries to leave her partner but the virus intervenes.


Rhona played by Megan Shandley 

Jean voiced by JoJo Sutherland 

Written by Keir McAllister 


Music Composed and performed by Dave Be Mac 

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I culd o logs chapter two Chik so puzzle. These are strange times so real times.I know people keep saying that on the TV, how surreal the Solace Ho it's likea film. I don't think it is morestones make sense in my defense. A lot of thisis Daniel. SAUCEER's fault he's a comedian. If you don't know, he gotbigin the last few years. He comes from the same time as me. I've never seen him, but my friendMarie has hardly shot up about him for like three years he had these specialscome ot recently on Netflix and one of them is called Jegson. I'd heard a lot about it but, as I said,hadn't seen it the gist of it. is He questions the whole idea of being in arelationship whether humans are even cut out for it? I mean it's hardlygrown breaking, but he does it so well that all these couples break up afterwatching it. I can't remember how many, but it's in the fhosens now, like Ipersonally know at least six couples have broken up because of a show. Admittedly, three of these, a Bot, myPalmari and those car crashes, probably didn't need Daniel Souces intervention,but she believes this comedy show is the reason why they did and continuedto anarm me so much by talking about it that I eventually decided. I shouldjust watch the thing. No, I didn't have high expectations. I love Mary dearly,but her taste in man is almost as bad as her test in anything remote Te,cultural, her favorite film is Magic Mike Xxl, noeven the first one, but the sequel I mean she awbally tells people hasdoesn't pretend that it's the piano or lady bird or R, something a bit morefeministy and she tells everybody doesn't he need to be asked just walksaround openly annoting to the world at her absolute favorite film in theHistory Thenk Tie, gonre film is the sequel to the one of out mail stripperswith big dicks thanks for that Marie, but I don't think the entire topdic ofthe bus needed to know that, so I wasn't expecting much first of allbecause it was Marie's suggestion and second of all, Daniel loss is handsome. I don't trust handsome comedians in thesame way, I don't trust religious bartenders. You can't mix me a good genif you have jees in your life, and you can't make me laugh if you've never hadto rely on your ability to do so to avoid getting your head kicked in. I always prefer my comex funny, O ofnecessity rather than choice and Daniel Sauce was too answer for that to be thecase. His head was too beautiful to ever have been kicked in also thespecial was filmed in America and they 'll augh for any old shirt in America.They laughe at magic. My exat Allan America, Enewi Marie's been hanging on about theshor since she saw it live in Ediborgh a couple years ago, a the French and itsents FOCOM her blueprid for every relationship, she's gone into andsubsequently out of, and I was sick of hearing about it doubly saw when itcame on Netflix.

I can believe you're not watch te getRonar. How can you not have watched it? It geneally changed my life. Likehonestly, you cannot claim to be my best friend until you see it. It'stransformed to Y, fundamentally I'm as a person watch it or I'll hat you andshe persevered tenaciously in this vain till I finally relent it. I hate itwhen people do that when they're so enthusiastic about something that theygeneally think less of you, because you don't share their cultish commitmentfor it. I once had an hix break up with mebecause he didn't see our relationship going anywhere and one of the chiefreasons he cited was that I hadn't seen a single episode of game of TRONC. Theirony of this is as soon as we broke up. I spent the fallowing weeks, vingewatching it in my pgs out spite and inora complete conber. I even enjoyedthe last series so anyway, I'm sick of her waning on about it, so I watch itwith the full intention of purposefully hating it I mentally prepare myself notto laugh, not even raise a smile. I syh myself up to morve hat this cocky. Wearsol spooting out his privileged Whiteboy masogynistic perspective onthe WHO's and wise of Hore relationship, should work and even have a pen andpaperit ready to make nogtes and then, of course, I'm five minutesin and not only am I laughing, but I'm totally engaged and by the end of it I've a hundredpercent decided I'm going to leave Eden. Let me first of all see there's nothingwrong with aded, just the things that were right,weren't right enough and recently they were just not bad in any distinguishable. Wenothing. I could commit to put my finger on. They were just ther, you know and Yeah We'd both be busy with work,and neither of US had really made time for one another, but then I'm thinking so what's the point, I wanted something more I desire ofmore than just the so I made up my mind to leave. First thing I had to do obviously wastill the pressor who deserved to know first and Marie was of course, bloodydelighted Rona. This is marvelous like this iswhy I wanted you to watch it. You must tweet Daniel and tell him I think Ishould probably tell Eden first really o okay like if you think you must, but I can't just tell him idint I mean ad Ne Houge somewhere to go. I meanI've been living at as flat and I have been for the best part of a year andalso as far as he was concerned, everything was fine. This was going toknock him for sex. I knew it would. He was happy with Blucontent in the blurness of all. It was impossible for me to leave straightway.I needed an exert strategy, one that wars, minibal drama, quick, clean andeasy er feasibly. It was going to take a couple of weeks enwy before I was inany position to go anywhere, but I could do it. No, I would do it. I wasgoing to take my life to the next level, so I started I organized my money. Ispoke to my sister in speen and organized to go straight there for abit. She might even have connections for a job. For me, too, teachingEnglish like her, I booked flights and I prepared how I was going to break thenews to Eden. If I ever found my will fagging I puton Dixol and my resolve would instantly... emboldened. I was going to do this.Ronot was finally taking charge of her life as the date for my flight Ho bpeenapproached the guilt of the impending bomb. Shell I was about to drop on Edinmeant that I overcompensated by being inadvertedly nicer to him than normalselfishly. He responded affectionately back and it began to down on me what itwas I was going to do. He had no idea you had had sex, it wasn't awful either,but it had the not gon effect of only increasing my guilt. I tried to bock out by watching Jig soagain, but then Eden caught me and as if you could watch it too, and Ireacted like I just been caught watching a particularly sleezy pornal.What no I wasn't watching this well, I was watching it a little bit, but justby accident it just opened up on the screen and I couldn't be bol intwitching off. No, no, I haven't watched it before. No, I don't know how it's come up Marchas a favorite. I think it I might be Hap to now. I'm not blushing, I'm justtired. Look, I think I'm gonno turn in goodnight the night before I was due to catch theflight to Spain. I still had not said anything to Edin. I was also still fully intending toleave. I began to wrestle with the moralimplocations of e telling him by a text message when I was on the plane orpreferred option B, not telling him at all and just hoping he would fill inthe blanks himself. I quickly decided that neither would beso good for my long term. Mental health so opted for surprise, still morallyrepugnant, but slightly less so option. Se for Big Fat, coward write, Timonot turned out. The only paper in the housewas either baking or toilet, who new bull point. Pens didn't work on greasedup Brown paper, no matter how hard you screamitg them and though I brieflyconsidered it even I can bring myself to write a dear jon latter on Bodrule, so we're right back to me actuallyhaving to physically say things to his face, the very thought of which hasgiven me an anxiety attack. I mean what would iy say that didn't sound, idiotic,a comedian told me to break up with you. You don't fit in my life, an allergy O,a Jixole. I went to bed early. My Pat Suitcase was in the wardrobe,and I had checked into my Elevonian flanght online. There was a taxi coming fror me atSeventym to take me to the airport and it was no just past ten PM. At night I had less than nine hours to tell mypartner. I was leaving him he eventually long ris into the room.There's my chance. I have to see something he undresses clumsily gets into bed andwe both lie there. He turned away from me I'm staring intothe ceiling rigid still and I'm trying not to cry, and eventually I see Eden and he grunts and icy quietly, but definitively I'm leaving you tomorrow and he doesn't see anything there's a long pause. Then, after a while, I feel them trembling beside me. I think about putting an arm around him,but I don't, I can't think ofe anything to see whatis there to say, so we both just lie there in the uncomfortable bare truth of myconsciouce uncoupling.

I don't think I slept, but I must havedone because when my alarm goes off, Aden isn't next to me anymore. I get dressed and get my pact totkassout of the MORDUBE and go into the living room. Ediner slumped asleep on the couch. He looks awful. His eyes are red fromcrying he's breathing these huge sob snores and I feel a further stab ofGile. What I've done to him. I go over and kiss him on the forehead, close the front door. Put My keys through the letter box, getin the taxi and leave him forever, except of course I don't. I leave himfor the length of time it takes me to get to the airport, get though securitywatch in real time as every flight to Spain is canceled indefinitely in frontof my very eyes, then, in a final flourish of painful irony back toEvon's fot, I go in the very Tati that Picke me up. I know what else to go that journey back, I'm turning myself inside a cringing atthe utter horror of the intense humiliation I now found myself in. I literally have nowhere else to gogoing back to my parents is not an option, they don't have the room or theparental sense of duty. Staying with Marie is out of the question shealready has three other flat mates, two of which I cannot stand and that's in atubage of flat. They turned the living room into a third bedroom and subletit. I'm suddenly aware that there's no onein my life that I'm comfortable with to the point that I can just turn up ontheir doorstep with a suitcase no one other than aided the realization of this makes meincredibly sad to stop me fom becoming hysterical. Iasked the driver to put the radio on and the news bursts through thespeakers. The driver turned it down to anacceptable level. It's only at this point that I realizedthat this kavonavirus is a thing like an actual thing that might affectme. I mean I'd heard about it surer, but not withy paid attention. It fellinto the same category as Brexit. For me, I purposefully tuned out to it,because any information I did pick up made me anxious and scared. I deliberately had kept my distancefrom it. It was backgrown nice to the old, consuming drama of me, but now Inead aware of it again. It seems like too terrifying to be true. I am, however, distracted by it for amoment before the impending reality of what I know have to do slaps me rightback into the present moment. I have, of course, put my keys through theletter box, so I have to suffer the indignity of knocking on the door atfirst so quiet. He would struggle to hear if he was listening on the otherside through a stethoscope, then getting increasingly lowder and morefrantic. He was taking his sweet time to answer,but he is entitled to that at least I eventually resorved to having toshout through the letter box. And finally, I hear a movement from insightand he opens the door. He looks awful. I glimpsed the mental and physicaleffect breaking up his had on him and I feel another deep Pang of shame. I prepare myself for an inevitablesarcastic snarl of so what do you want, but it does nothing of the sort there's not a hint of anger orrecrimination, as he just looks at me, through teedyred eyes and says softly hey. He then turns around abruptly leavingme standing on the door map and stumbles hung over with heartache tothe bedroom.

I hear him shut the door I walkd into the place. I thought I hadjust left for ever. I set my suitcase down and it hits me all of a sudden. I'm aware that I feelcompletely terrible physically emotionally. This has alltaken a tall of me. I burst into load, snot bubbling sobs.I fall to my knees and I cry loadly uncontrollably pathetically until Ieventually managed to collect myself enough to get over to the coach and Ifall into it into a deep sleep. When I wake up I'm in the bed, I feel worse. Sweating coughing aching beside me is a jug of iced water and anopen pack of Paracitamol, I'm aware of Aden somewhere in the room,and I hear him ask how are you feeling I try to answer, but that provokes acoughing fit and I can't catch my breath. I Ben in to panic and Edon sitson the bed, holds me gently. As my coush dissolve into tears, then sleepagain. This pattern is repeated for what seemslike thiss. I drifted in a out of consciousness. Ilost or sense of time I just remember being El like really ilfeeling just dreadful, and I remember one other thing every time I woke up. Every time I was conscious Aden was there present. Looking after me, asking me how I was feeling holding megetting me things, tenderly caring for me like someone who loved me, he did it without a hint of malice too. After what I had just done to him breaking his heart. Like that, I'll behonest, I didn't know he was capable of this level of kindness. I didn't knowhe was capable of being this loving or displaying this degree of emotionalintelligence. By the time the fog of my fever hadlifted. Adin had changed right before my eyes. Instead of the I saw, commitment andstrength and the only person in the universe that I could turn up to with asuitcase regardless of the circumstance, and we welcomed in and looked after now that I was beginning to feel better.The guilt and shame was beginning to kick back in. It occurred to me that the things wrongin our relationship me and Adan I mean- maybe it might be me. It occurred to me that maybe life isn'talways a perfect Jig saw picture that you pieced together, but a series ofdecisions about what you're going to do with your time and who you're going tospend it with. Maybe love is more about looking aftersomeone when they're sick than it is about inspiring you to be the bestperson you could be. Maybe that's her relationships work. These revelations fell on me almostrhysmically one by one and led me to the thing Ialready knew I loved Aden. I truly loved him. I now urgently had to speak to him tofind out how he was feeling wouldd we even go from here. Did he still want me in his Jexsol I voned next time he came into the roomto check on me. I would speak to him. I would apologize and I would speak tohim and I would tell him that I loved...

...him and that if it was okay with him,could we just forget that I had left and continued to be in our relationshipand I promise I would promise to do better. I would try and do better the very next time he comes into theroom. I would say all these things, except of course I didn't it was him that brought it up later onthat evening, after he'd been into Checkinh me at least four or five times,and I hadn't been able to summon the courage to say anything Rolla, I'm sorry for doing this to you for making youEden, I interrupted don't this is not your fault all the same, I'm sorry I was so worried. I know this sounds crazy, but at onepoint I thought I might lose you me too, but you didn't. I couldn't havcout with that. You know if you had God that was my foult foll and I heard his voice crack as he saidthis and I was overwhelmed with love for him. I kissed him on the lips and heiled him.Tight was your fault, it was mine Ho. Was it your fault? I had it first,I must have passed it on to you. No, it wasn't your fault. I thought youweren't part of my Jik, so you see and then wait a minute. What what did SYEU pass on to me, thevirus I had at first? I know I caught off as well. Martin inthe office, he was skin and Etaly in February comeback, covirng up along he's an amygenic bastard at the best oftimes. That's who gave it to me bet youmillion pounds chicksaw what Chiksow? Sorry, what what Varus the corona thingyeah that was the coronavirus must have been. I mean you had it much worse thanme, but sil to the worst of it t, and then it dawns on me at once. Theidiot had no idea. I had tried to leave him. He was a Brooken heartet. He wasill his trembling in bed. Next to me was not him crying, it was fever. My first instinct is one of anger. Ihave been falling back in love with him because of his selfless mature reaction.When all the time the Mor on and even realized, he was getting dumped in thefirst place. His taking care of me was just him taking care of me. It was notthe Supreme Act of emotional intelligence. I had sought how Dar hemisleave me like that and also corona virus. I had the corona virus for thefirst time in days. I turn on my phone and through the various social mediaplatforms, start to get a grip of what is going on outsade the world of me. I can't get my head around it. It feelsso serrele like it's not really happening. Are we really unlockdon? What even is alockdown? I read about NHS staff and PPE and thepeople dying dying on their own and I'm overwhelmed by it. All I start to cry. How could I have missed this hopcul? Inot know what was happening and then Eden walks back into the roomwith the tea, and he sees me freaking out and he drops the tea on the floor.So he can leap across the bed to throw his arms round me.

It's going to be ou key. He says, we'vegot each other right, it's going to be oke and when he says that I allow myself to think that it mightbe. It will come as no surprise to you tolearn that I didn't tell him. I won't tell him. I unpack was out him knowing I deletedall relevant emails. I fool my sister. I erase it. It never happened. We isolate, of course, don't leave thehouse and, despite the fact, T we're both wiped out a lot of the time. It'sone of the best fortnights of our entire relationship. Talk. We choose films for each other. We Cookwe don't lowd to tick talk and make a dancing video. We laugh. I forgot he made me laugh it's strange. Despite the seriousness of things, theweirdness and the horribleness of this Pirus, I was the most cearfree had ever been no work to worry about no need to beanywhere, but in the flat with him being us, I do get the odd guilt lurchand anxiety rises up in me. What if Idin finds out? I was going to leavehim. What if Daniel Sauce was right in the first place and a better morefulfilling life lies out there waiting for me when this happens, I swollow it backdown like a moful of sick and I tried to do something to get the taste out ofmy mouth early one morning. I can't rememberwhat day was, but it was around the Easter weekend. Aden and I are loungingin the back garden. It's not really a bat garden, it's a small square offlagstones with a knee high fence round. It we've been quiet for some time, butcomfortably quiet. His hand is on the back of my neck andhe struck in me with one finger. If you could have anything anythingright to know what would it be? I asked him out of the blue, and what I wanthim to see is nothing I don't want for anything. You are allI need. Instead, he answers with something Iwould not have guessed he would see in a thousand years anything I can haveanything right now. Okay, then, I really would like to get stolmed with you. Iwould really like some wheat. I mean it's the perfect time right. I haven'tsmoked since university, but now stuck in the house time on our hands time torelax, wouldn't anjoin not be perfect rightnow, no, in the whole time, I've known him Eden hasn't once done any kind ofdrugs. He doesn't smoke. He doesn't even drink that much, but I felt an unexpected thrill pulsethrough me when he said this, whether it was because he explicitlysaid he wanted to do it with me or because he had genuinely managed tosurprise me with his answer. There was no nothing I wanted to do more than getstormed with him. Yes, that would be perfect right now. Do you know anyone na now? Of course, I don't have asMonteas my unidats anyway, we're on Lockdon, I'm not sure weed is anessential IOM. What, if I can get some, can you I can see what I can do so I forned Marie. This is the ShitMarie is made for Shewill know someone. This is right in her wheelhouse, ofcourse she doesn't answer who doesn't answer their phone in Lalk Don. Whatare you doing frustrated? I fon her again this time straight to voicemealMari useluss, piece of Shit. Where are... when you can actually be ofpractical used to me for a change? Okay, planby? It's a long shot like a realoutside chance, but there as a woman who works in the corner shop. She looksa bit rough, but she knows everyone, everything that happens in theneighborhood. I watch her. Sometimes when I'm in listen to her talking tothe other customers, her depth of knowledge was astounding disturbing.Maybe she knows who lives in every flat house and garden shed within threesquare miles of the shop and an uncomfortable amount about their dailylifes addictions operations. New Purchases. There seemed to be no limitto the level of personal detail. She was aware of it occurred to me. She might knowsomeone someone close by who could sell us some wheat. Shedidn't look like the type of person who would disapprove. You know she looked like she might even smoke.Af Bet herself, I briefly contemplated putting makeupon then decided dressing up for a potential drug deal was probably notthat necessary. Also, I hadn't gotten your makeup for two weeks and now thewhole bother of it seemed quite tiresome this from the girl whofrequently used to spend a third of her months, wages on benefit and mark. Iput on my shoes and grabbed my jacket. Not leaving me are you edin called no.I said far too loudly and panicky belant suddenly rushing to my face. Whyon Earth would you say that, because you're putting your jacket on I'm just nipping out for a minute, Iwant to be long on the way to the shop. I Day dreamedabout this working out me returning back to him havingsuccessfully procured weedout of Finneer, how much that would impresshim, and I almost skipped with delight, as I imagined his face, stunned by mymarvelousness for like a minute. I genuinely believedthat this would work. Then I got into the shop and realizedhow utterly ridiculous this idea was. I didn't know this woman, not only thatshe looked hard as nails like prison hard. I could barely bring myself tospeak to her when I was going in for a normal shop. The idea that I wassomehow going to be able to strike up a conversation about drugs, no seemed outof the question. The shop was empty when I got there not a saul in she wasbehind the counter aggressively unpacking toffy crisps. I realized I would have to buysomething. If this was going to work, it would need to look casual and notlike. I had specifically come in there for the purposes of finding a drugdealer. Then I almost had a panic attack aboutwhat I should buy. What were the most casual items in the shop milk, neitherEdon or I drank mill, but that's what people buy right. I pick up a four liter carton of fullfat, milk and approach the counter with a big, stupid smile on my face. I meannever mind the fact that up until that point, I'd done everything up to andincluding faking a phone call to avoid speaking or I contact with her twometers away. She says before I even got near the counter. What? Oh? Yes, of course, a sorry I take a step back. I know at leastfour meters away and too far from the county to put the milk down, so I kindof lean forward without moving my feet or bending my body in some sort ofweird, Michael Jackson, dance move and place the milk on the near end of thecounter. I then have to push with my arms on thecounter to get enough mamentum to stand up straight again. The woman immediately wipes were myhands touched, the counter with a cloth while never breaking direct eye contactwith me.

The cloth looked like it was used towipe up the blood of the original Carrona Bat. I realize I've fought this already howe you coping. I asked lately whatyou know. Everything and my voice goes up on the end of everything, so that itsounds like I'm not sure what everything means her eyes slant to thepoint that they are barely aslit and she tilts her head to one side like sheis contemplating whether to kill me or not. For the first time in my adult life H,I can remember, I actually might pee myself, and it was at this point. This exactpoint and I'm not making this up a very old man, burst through the door andshouted at the top of his voice. Hey have you got in it Cokonich. She thencalled him a suicidal old bastard. A heated exchange takes place that I didnot understand a word of, and then he leaves as quickly as he arrived with ajar of peanut butter as he leaves he shouts well Eugee and instead of looking pleased about it,she turns to me and asks aggressively what did you just say to me. I love you and she steers at me motionless as ifI'm the one who said it like. I said, I'm not making this up. It occurs to me for a second. This is adream, or maybe I'd already managed to get some wheat smoked O, and this wassome kind of out of body hallucination, regardless the strangeness of the OldMan's intervention, somehow liberated me from the normal constraints ofsocial interaction, and I blurt out to the woman, you don't know where I can get any weat.Do you. She didn't even look up. It's just my boyfriend and I we don'tusually do that sort of thing, but we thought we might you know since we'reor lockdown, not a blink. I contemplated seeing something else. Ialso thought about just running out of the shop and never returning A. I was just about to do this. Shesaid weak, whacky, Backi cadabits. Yes, that's what you're looking for and youthought you'd come to me. I just thot. You seem to know a lotabout this place and me a woman you've never spoken tobefore a keyworker in the pandamic. You thought you'd come to me to find yourdrugs for you luke. It doesn't matter. It was just onthe offchance. You Know Hush tag all of this together and as I'm saying thatI'm thinking to myself, why are you seying this? She stares at me with unblinkinguncomprehending eyes like a Vegan looking at an animal tester? Look I'm just going to go. I think that would be for the bast,don't you and I'm halfway out to the shop and she shouts. Do you WanyoMilcor, nor, but I'm too embarrassed to turn around. I just leave and walk round the corneraway from the window of the shop, so she can't see me I'm shaking I try and to collect myself processwhat has just happened. I now imagine myself returning to theflat empty handed, I needan asking where I disappeared to and me trying toexplain what just happened and instead of him seeing me as this magicalgirlfriend who's socially connected enough to get drungs at the drop of ahat. He's going to see me as odd and silly and weird which, as we all know,is the actual truth of the matter. Another rush of shame wells up from thepit of my stomach as the event of the...

...previous weeks replay in my head, and Isee the trajectory of my eratic emotional behavior laid before me andall its replendent ridiculousness. I feel like a child like a selfish child who doesn't knowanything. He doesn't know her own mind who doesn't know how to handle life. I feel utterly overwhelmed by my ownincompetence. By my own silliness I mean people are dying right now I could have died, and here I know am, I can remember, praying in my head. Well, not praying exactlykeding an internal plea to anyone. Just give me a sign someone please tellme what to do to be. All I need is someone to tell me what Ishould be doing with my life and I'll do that. I will do that very thing and just as I'm about to cry to brandnew weird as shit things happen in very quick succession. First, my phongoes, it's Marie! Shemust be returning. My call a shiver of hope runs through me. I quickly answerMarie Marie. Thank God you fomd. I need a favor Rona Rhoda! No Me! First, you are notgoing to believe this. What what is it? I've just been watching a live comedygig on Youtube because Daniels on it do you know he has a Gorfrien now what he has a girlfriend, a girlfriendRonar the treacherous little shit has a girlfriend. What are you talking about and as she's explaining to me exactlywhat she's talking about, and I again swear to you, I'm not making this upsomething falls out of the sky and land on my head. It's not heavy enough tohurt me, but it's surprising enough that I scream and drop the phone. I look down to see what it is and it takes me a second because Ican't believe what I'm looking at theyare on the pavement lying beside myfhorn with Marie's whittering still streaming out of it is a large, transparent, vacumpact bagof what was unmistakably weak. The crotalogues is a wachless spaceproduction and partnership with guilt blid. If you have enjoyed thisrecording, please consider making Indonesian the details can be faind inthe audio description. Alternatively, by visiting Wosh, the space production,STONTCO or gilded do altenations will be speningli between con tributers witha Genetian Goin tomors the go. Thank you. Chikso puzzin was written byKermancallister when I was played by Megan Shantley Jean was played byGeorgeo Sutherland, original music composed and performed by Dave pimark.The special thanks to Alex Stevhen Richard Millin, Kevin Anderson, gityand Kaden Corden, and all it Gol Debilin.

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