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The Coronalogues
The Coronalogues

Season 1, Episode 1 · 2 years ago

Chapter 1: Poor Wullie

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Poor Wullie


A widower is surprised when the Corona lockdown brings an end to his own isolation.


Characters

Wullie played by Paul Sneddon

Jean voiced by JoJo Sutherland


Written by Keir McAllister

Music Composed and Performed by Dave Be Mac


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The chronous chapter one. Wally, I'll be honest, I never took this thing seriously to begin me. My demises evident, some would see over due. I find that I'm an old man. No shame in knowing that I loved a life. Don't expect anything to be given to me anymore. No where him, Bonnie, anyway, no where. That bring a smell to my face. And I'm too old, gray and worn. A good call Sring of it right to me, anyway, what the world needs. I mean, he surprised mother e finally putting her foot do this. She greatly so it will we we gonna boot things. I mean it's a mess, is it not? We're made a big mess. It's no surprise to anyone. Corona is Karma. That's what I think right. I can see that. And I'm a seventy five year old ex smoker. I'm on the nose,...

Slot Bandaid, center of the target demographic fine, come and get me, I'll go down sweating because I myself first man who's too old to be seen by it. That's what our first thought whenever a boot and then gene barred me to the shop. Gee, she runs the grocery store but she didn't. You run it. She just does the mornings. Tell no, not think she starts withoot six and I'll go and just after that give a we bit him to get the shutters up and then I'm in there five minutes after that opens. I just want to get in and get I'm always up at the cart time in the morning and it just hits me to go in then where people usually none. The last three years I've been doing that, going in time. Had to start shopping from myself, you see, after the after the wife passed, Danny, make that face thenny, care for your mocks, sympathy passions. It's not your bees wax. Well, my marries was always neither here, here, not there. To you a griefs my own. What was I talking about? Why? Gene? Well, she's about ages vi me, at least she looks at, but then she smokes for to mentality and you can tell she's had a life show. She may just be in a notice for a kid. She's a sarcastic old bitch, which I appreciate as a bitter roll man myself. Misery loves company, especially when it's just as contankerous as me. Every money are going always.

We have the same conversation for the last three years. Can you remember a single morning when there's no gone like this? I walk in the shop and she goes, Oh, here is pool really, but she thinks is really funny. Poor will you Cald, like my way said, she's calling me poor wily because I come in on my own every day to get my sad, lonely shopping and my wife's dead. She's thinks such something to read. Push. Like I said, she's a sarcastic cow, but I don't. Rather than any Davenant, your droopy kid on can say I'm a going and she goes like all, here he is, poor wally, still alive, I see, managing to cling on to life, are you now? Let's see something like that's an ongoing protesting but you're wearing middoom in that face of yours, your hack old boot. And then I get what I needed, take it to the counter and she'd call out to me. She was ringing it through, shaming me with the eve shopping. One Morning Roll, Twenty P oh, big a tear to a glass eye, one paint and milk. That will do you two days, won't it's son or poor really one copy of Edinbury Evening News. You saving that for something to do in the afternoon in between naps and wandering our injur who's trying to remember where Ye are, or pure well it and I but stand there and then Du this abuse, did my best not deal laugh and as I lay should say something like out to me, like try not and slipping that bathild bastard, be careful crossing the road. Now you had decrepit, old Chet, and I but shout back press off Gin. Your answered. All poor has happened with only...

...minor variations of the day, for the last three years. Most days it was only conversation I had with anybody, the poor Willie routine, highlight of my day. Well, that was until now. Well, when was it? The ideal a dear is name must be three weeks ago, right, three weeks ga arteague. I went and six hundred and five am has normal. But Day, instead of the gene delivering our Queue Lane, here is her vally, still alive. I see managing to cling on to life. Are you instead? The minute asked it. Can She got off luster and shaded? Well, you dude here, really get back to here. Who's well, I was fucking offended. How Dar she talked to me like that. He d hate Yad gene. I have been self isolating for years. Don't talk to me about self. Is All eating so a lot pish. Anyway. Somebody a baton China and now we've all got a lock ourselves in the bathroom and eat dump food. Would a pest, and I'm no having a I thought you were smart enough not for for that rubbish. Yes, shepherd, old man, have you not seen what's the happening in that lie to go down like candles at salvation on me, band practice. Look at the stay of you. You need to go home. A stupid man. You couldn't survive a strong breeze at the best of times, let alone a color virus. Go home. You're bad from here too. This as over, I'll drop ranger messages and leave them on the doorstep when I got off shift. Stay in the house. You can come out when you're tell to come out, but till then, getting that WHO's and still there, you're bad. If I see you out that door, I'll call you myself. Stupid, all miserable bastard that. Yeah, sure, I came home, which choice did not have, and that's been me hey, almost three weeks...

...now. This should have been water. If I duck's back to me. You weeks, you know who's me. Bother, I'm very happy in me in company. Sure now used to light that about me, she said. Well, she used to see I never seemed lonely on my own, which was true, but then I had had enough to come back to you. I mean the finger book. Being lonely as this. She's not being on your own. It's the problem. It's that might be nebody cares that you are, and she show no, she's no, I don't a care anymore than that. As it turns out, is very lonely indeed. I'm finding that more than fine. I I prefare. It's the way I wanted. I want her no being here to mean as much as when she was here. Otherwise, what was the point game? I mean, I'm seeing things I never meant to see here. Strick to the story, really, and here was her. I so it should be one enough for that's back. But I didn't realize that we need be the only one fortune to self isolation. Who you see, we live. I live in doing stairs flat. That's an upstairs flat. That's recently been sold to a young family. They they only moved on a month or show before they so started a quite sat there the boy, let's see, boy must be thoughty. Don't know audience be he a man, a young man. He's got a beard like a homeless pirate, and the Tattoos on him. It's it's like somebody's going to ease our we a packet. I felt ups and she the way, our partner every as she's got dreadlocks. And then those room happy. So I...

...think. I didn't care if that's what they call themselves, I mean, or what the identify as. Is that not what they saying? New I identify as a Hippie. Maybe they don't, but that's what they look like to me. No strangers to the Wacky backy they came. But I mean now the guy, boy and Q, we think, considering his weird parents. ME, he can't even will know one or two. I don't know why I'd cree can the age of children, but you can speak and walk when no, very well, they eleven upstairs. They've been there a bit on mud like I see, and usually it's fine because well, they do know. They mean the booth work me God knows for eyes, and I don't imagine the lawyers, let's put it, are we? And the REE lady will musque a Nussery, or some of them maybe guest these grandparents are I don't know kind. I've never spoke to them of the whole time they've been here. Anyway, usually they're most of the day, which should be because when the layer, when they're in, Oh God, damn noise. You need believe our bloody noise that comes through that you like and of course not, but the First Class EDDIOTCYC. What was the first thing they did when they first moved and you don't know, guess that. The first they did that, when they moved in that for was take up all the carpets did them all were also pretty to themselves. The were for it too. I could hear them talking, because all you can hear everything that goes on in that flat. I have them talking about all who amazing it looks with the natural floorboards now exposed. I you can't what is all so exposed. My ear drums to your rug let less bloody and banging a Bert. What...

...is it that people have against carpets these days? I shown I love the good carpet. We spent many a happy Sunday in the carpet. We Are House. I'd always see what but see a shag showed up and like she'd had the on the arm and then laugh. Any me, bathroom stoga carpet. I know that's unfashionable. One hygienic up, can't we? Maybe? Sure? I later carpet and I was DAMNEDERF was getting the liver after she'd gone. It gets your feet. One insulates the WHO sent it my fic? A sound of that stump and a boot. Every beer it's like this. A bloody bombardment happening every evening, the kids running up and doing, the exposed wooden floor boards waiting for I can only assume, our metal cloaks. I bought ear drums don't not so at night when they came home, I was putting in the ear plugs. It's only for a couple of yours. I mean, can you have the bloody things or day though? I mean well, be deep. Have to put up with it and you don't know what choice of I go. Oh, they long Tomp, thump, thump, thumb, thumb. Not It's the Welsh folked. When does it not. It's no, he's stuck in Sade the whole time on account of the isolation. Leave. No, got a garden. You see the back garden that's mine. There isn't a front garden but a couple of slabs of concreteing some gravel, but it's not gotten. I see the back gardens. Main is very much shown, as I never took any interesting gardening and she didn't want me to. I mean I cut the grass occasionally, but something actual gardening. That was strictly hard domain and I was quite happy to where...

I got on. You gone to rack and ruin now, though, hasn't it? I can bear to be in it day, anything with it. Not that. No, we have to start, so I just like it go. But it struck me maybe the boy, you know, being stuck in, he will wait the space and anyway it would mean he was need giving me Ami Green or day running through that ridiculous carpetless who seeming. That was my main motivation. That's was not, repeat, not a random act of kindness or anything of the kind. It was beaureway up frontal decision from my own benefit. So I don't I know. I will watch their scuffle even though the back garden is technically exclusively mine, I have no need for it and you have the man. Therefore, please feel free to use it whenever you like. I have no key, no need for it. Signed. Well, I during this stair. Then I went and I put it through the letter box. Twenty minutes later. That all under garden, all three of them. What did she give it? Twenty minutes whoa no shine. Coming forward are the chicken bloody happies. I barely had time to get back in news. In a course, it duns on me. Okay, so the thump, thump, thump, thump, thump my and momentarily store.

But I had me considered that when I sit in my living them I'm looking right the back garden. My Sour face pointed a part of your doors that opened directly or in the garden, its cells. I'm now certain we are paper ring and know, look at these bloody hip he's having. Their own family would stock in my shoe in his garden. I was sitting there determment. Knew a Luke, but I did deny I and the woman. Well, she sees me. Yeah, she sees me looking and she sits to the boy and I can see a point. Nw Utem Hey, the we laddy looks right at me and he gives you this big stupid smiler. I can see a mountain. Thank you. Mandy Blues me a kiss. So I shot her cartons. Huh. I slept in the next morning. I never did that. I Walk to the sound of my letter box going Anna, hi, how it to the front door. My I'm on never comes that earlier. I I've got several very lunch pass off notices on my front door warning junk mailers. Know a bother that are. So rush to the door to catch a glipse of the BAGAIN. Didn't the floor Specie for paper folded over the NMA. Goddess, that's the thought. I picked it up like it was a ransom notating. I slowly opened it. I'm looking at what can loosely be described as a drawing Gunn Kreye. It's nothing that actually looks like in a rubbish picture, even for two year old. Then on one side, written very neatly in blue felt pain, was this message dear nice man, downs tears. That gets an idiot nice. Mad this is a picture of me and Mommy and daddy in the garden, Playing Hayden...

Seek. Thank you very much for letting me use it. You are very, very kind. Love Felix, Kiss, Kiss Felix. Hey, bloody felix. Is he a born feeling on the back was a father? Note he there? We've been meaning to come down as see how more so, sorry we haven't introduced ourselves. Thank you so much for getting us the use of your garden. You have no idea what this means to us in these difficult times. If there's anything art whole we can do for you or please don't hesitate to ask. We've all got to look out for one another. I haven't there. Again, thank you so so much. You're very nice man indeed. Hen and very nice man. These people are after idiots. And of course, the weather's spike. One even has to be the first Easter in years when I has any snowed and every poor bastons been locked in doors. I've always said Scotland has weather is spike waiting. You See, the very second this virus is over all push doing light numb before, but for now the sun's Ut and upstairs, there in the garden again. Yes, the lot, just in the garden. Oh No, the good tools,...

...speeds, rakestrals, even he'll do begether. That's free. WHO has gonement tools? And and the garden? They're at doors on me. I bet you. He's a gardener, isn't he? And now, but explain the van. He's got a white van, big muckle Tany punks, right, it's in my front wendy sack, and he see up the street. He's a bloody big gardener, I'll bet you a million cred and that's how he gets to be able looking like a tramp. All Right, why God not? We can gook like shitting. Nevidy cares, but it's still a Lobudi, is it? No, I mean, is it just me? Am I being overly bloody? He sensitive, honey? I said they could use the garden. ABODY said anything. The boot, then anything, tea. I mean, Oh God, didn't Manki, I s the way I wanted it. They think they are. I didn't even close the governess. Now I just stand there and watch them. Every now and again that look up and Swill and Dan. We've like the Greek idiots. They are absolutely never and the bed. Oh, he's having idea or taby are that they couldn't looks like he's never seen a spaed before, even though real one, just when of those plastic jobs. You get me a bucket, like when you're at this, he said, and he's taken away. I mean he's a chiefing bug at all. If anything, he's making up washing mess of it to bet all been OK. Have Your En, you kidney? Hope to see they all bloody happy. Did you know? Came this a pandemic? On it is, letting my view my rotten garden, and the next few days there in that garden, morning, noon and night, even when...

...the mum takes the be Wunt a bead, the the Pirate Dad Matt or wherever he calls himself, well, he's still out there gardening away. I'll see this for them. Don't know, Lazy, I thought. Happy is for razyble. I'm telling you you, but hardly recognize the place. He's putting off the beds, a vegetable patch. She's we did the lawn, those boxes from bulbs, Shurea what I love dead. I mean I'm no Wynny Gardens, but even I can see they've done anough he good job. and Felix, they fella. He's loving it. You know, I saw him the other day squeal when we delight to a squirrel jumped the fence at the back of the garden and the re laddies Swar squealed it in and the started running total link towards it, and of course it shipped. Of course he did, and he fell the lengthy himself, and I was almost at the party of a door before I so his dadd has seen him when it was running towards him. He was fine. DOORTES game saler. We freight stupid squirrel. That gave me an idea. Loo. Now it's been a whales and self had an idea and I wasn't sure what to do. You. I consider the the ignore again, and then I thought it's not like I've got anything on, so got my coat and before then you at my cell. I was at the front door and I was don't a jeans shop. She was serving a customer as I badged in, a pretty young lassie. Both of them got hell of a phrase. I fell through the door. Hey, have you got any crocoduts? You out, you're bad. I've told you. Your old cammack as a maniac. Exhann emergency. You're all coup. What kind of emergency. We have you done to yourself?...

What do you need a coconut for? Have you had a stroke? Cam Your selar's not enough. Ma Ay, I'm fine. You're fine, you're fine area. Oh now I know there's something the matter. I've Lost Count The amount of times folks asked you how you are and never once have I here juicy fine. So either you finally gone totally delally or you've done something fucking send us to either we get back in your bloody who's you're bad. I need a coconut and I chata peanut bar. You need whatt, you dirty old bastard. You've been too long in your own wonderon and I want can write in the eye and I said Look, Jean, to me a penny flat with you the day. I'm trying to day some now, and the whole time I've been coming in here. Are you and I keep me a tryin decent. She shook her he slowly, like she was in short. Now you have any nat said, just let me do this right. I'm not want to argue with you. The shiner. You tell me with a shit Um. Here show have you got it? Coconut and a Joana peanut bar, and she sudden really gained her composure. Peanut bar next to the JAM and a corocodut. I think you might be mistaken us a fucking wait Ross, your mad old bomb, take your peanut butter and go home. Well, e Jean. And as the short door swung shot behind me, I just said gene, asking the stunned woman she was serving what did he just say to me? It took me two hours to walk to wait Rosen Baker whisney chance in the bus, I mean I thought about a taxi beca if when it passed, but those there was nothing in the roads. Hardly passed any win at all. Walked all the way up through the trend center. Whole place deserted is. It was like a full my didn't want to be in it felt odd, like I was trespassing in my own city.

Prince is stupidly empty. The old tune was deserted across the meadows. That was the busiest part of my journey. Dog Walkers, joggers, most of them, mainly on the way to the gene. broadiness of morning side. Wait Rus was busier. There were too Nach seed two meters apart and moved swift and off. A couple of people through me. Funny looks is Ft. See what you did. One back as if to see push off a man darine business. It took me a while to find it, but they had one on by one, I mean one, one lonely coconut. For an old lonely coconut. I bought it. Three quid for a coconut. Have you had the lake? THEA CARE? If you've ever tried to show our coconut and half of your bread knife to the best part of the evening, gonna nearly lost a finger. Still got it done. I was I was up not as earlier as usual on Accuativey, being later to my bed, but I was up before they went up upstairs. Okay't this because the sun had any started to sound like it was about to come in and top of me. Yet I wouldn't never my garden. For the first time in three years. I went to the back fencer attached the to you have coconuts. Tear it that insides smeared with the peanut butter. I drilled a hole in the top of each of them in threading through a wire coat hanger which Shire attached the fence by winding it round the post and then securing it with thit black electrical tape. I made sure the Benfo dooner. Then I went back in the Houston. I watch through the part of your doors in the first half of over me putting them up. I counted for squirrels.

Cheeky be gray bastards, baldest brass came right over the fence. I was you worried about Bugini or the peanut butter for for the Remler the chance to get his breakfast and come doing this day. But then just as I was thinking about nipping out the back to top them up, I heard them coming doing fee upstairs and up the gravel at the side of the WHO's he was fasting the garden. Felix as mom was close by in the was chatting and now we cheery be boy is his mom was talking back to him. It like he made sense. They had any clocked it yet, or me. So I tapped attack gently in the window and the Mum Helen. She looked up and smiled. Obviously I'll be bit surprised to see me stand in the other I pointed to the back of the garden. She just keep looking at his smiling confused. She's a sweet girl, but she's not the brightest. I prodded again more urgently, and this time she looks around in the direction them pointing at to see, but to have coconuts dangling precariously that fence. We are agree, squirrel hanging off each of them, attacking the last of the peanut butter. Face immediately lights up and she grabs the bar and excitedly. But when numbering so it takes them a minute and then slowly has expression bust. This huge smile is too big. Freeze we face and he claps his hands and jump something down with the delight of all lottery winner. And I'm standing there watching him and he's mum watching the DART squirrels. En I did. I can how long I'm standing in the air bit at one point a kind of JOUNU. My focus changes in that I see the ghostly reflection of myself in the party with door windy, just for a second. Cast more old green, one stupid fish. We are massive clay getting Glen Pasta...

...that crosser. The chronologs is a watch the space production in partnership with guilt and blend. If you have enjoyed this recording. Please consider making a donation. The details can be found in the audio description, alternatively by visiting watch the Space Productionscom or guilt of blood doc don't ut all donations will be slit evenly between contributors, with a Donesian going towards the guild bullet. Thank you. While he was played by Pauls me rich music, special thanks to Alex emn Gmailvin Kevin Anderson, Katie and car in cordon and all the guilt of Ballin.

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